Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
When I came out and how I met my wife
I remember growing up and my sister would make fun of guys who talked or acted like girls, calling them fags and my parents would cover my eyes if we saw 2 women or 2 men holding hands so I always thought, from a young age that what I was wasn't normal. My parents would always be trying to set me up with guys so I would find a boyfriend and when he started pressuring me for sex I would break up with him. I would have to find another guy soon after though since my parents would again start lecturing me on the "dangers of becoming a lesbian" if I spoke to the wrong people, had the wrong friends, and didn't have a boyfriend.
In elementary, when we lived in Niagara Falls, I saw more gay couples in Clifton Hill and I began doing my own research. At the time there was a girl in my class, I'll call her A, who was made fun of and picked on. She was shorter and bigger than everyone else and was very sensitive so she cried easily. Kids in my class began calling her a dyke, and I did the same because I didn't want anyone finding out about me. They say the biggest homophobes are the biggest homos...I proved them right.
In high school I told my best friend, H, that I was bisexual, not yet ready to fully come out. Then at SCOEP I told my friend, S. We were playing catch and she froze with the ball for a second and then accepted it and smiled saying "that actually explains a lot". I had to keep hiding it from most people though and I hated that. I decided to just come out but before I had a chance a guy in my class saw me and my girlfriend H (now ex) kissing and began telling everyone about me "the carpet munching dyke". My friends don't know just how bad it got, the threats, how scared I was when I got off school property and had to walk home, or about how they would trip me on the bus and shove me around. I had bruises and got beat up more than once. During summer break I begged my parents to let me switch schools. I told them someone had spread a horrible rumor and I couldn't stand it anymore so they let me transfer to a public school.
It was August 2007 and I went to the school to hand in the papers I needed to transfer and the $30 fee. There was another girl there, a red head and an angry one at that. She was on student welfare and didn't have the fee but it was the last day. She finally snapped at the secretary demanding to see the principal. As the secretary went to the other office the red head gave me a once over and then smirked a little. I wanted to ask her name, ask her out, invite her over but I was still with H, who was a very jealous girlfriend.
On the first day of school I found out I had math with the red head, J, and we started hanging out. My girlfriend and I began having problems as I started falling for J but J had told me she was straight, or so she thought. Turns out her parents were strict Protestants (mine were strict Catholics) and they had scared J so she suppressed her urges, she was bisexual.
In April of 2008 my parents found out I was a lesbian. The day before (a Saturday) my mom had seen my hugging my girlfriend and apparently put all her "evidence" together. She shoved me in the shower telling me to "scrub the sin" off of my skin. She kicked H out and kept yelling at me. That day was also my friends baby shower and when I got there everyone already knew what had happened. They tried to make me feel better but I was depressed and wanted nothing to do with their hugs and "it's ok". I had gone to see my friend and give her, her gift and be there for her. I didn't want anyone trying to make me feel better. After that my father barely spoke to me and my mom got mad at me over everything. I could no longer go see my girlfriend which caused problems between us.
In July of 2008 I broke up with my girlfriend and J and I began experimenting. Then I found out my ex had cheated on me with her ex and some other guy. Her excuse was that she was lonely because we lived in different cities and my parents didn't want me to see her anymore. She ended up getting pregnant. I stupidly got back together with her, after I had fallen in love with J, after knowing that she had cheated on me. My trust in her was gone so in early September I broke up with her again. She hated me for it but I wasn't going to be with someone I wasn't in love with. I met J in August 2007, it was love at first sight but I still dated H until September 2008 trying to get over J. After breaking up with H, J and I went back to experimenting and on October 2, 2008 we began dating. Turns out she had fallen in love with me around the same time I had fallen in love with her but she thought I was still in love with my ex. We were engaged by mid November.
My wife and I have been through a lot together. When she came out her family said some very horrible things and her mother tried to commit suicide. My wife and I moved out before the end of senior year and with both of our families against our relationship we were on our own. We got married on April 24, 2010 but my family didn't begin to accept my wife until late 2010, early 2011 and her family hasn't begun to accept me. There are a couple in-laws, wife's brother, sister, cousin and aunt who i get along with but most of the rest hate me for being a lesbian, "turning J into a lesbian", being Chilean, being from a Catholic family and for me not believing in God.
My wife and I have now been together for 3 years, 3 months, 3 weeks and 3 days. We have been married for a year and 9 months. We have 3 angel babies and people that love and support us despite what other people say and do.
In elementary, when we lived in Niagara Falls, I saw more gay couples in Clifton Hill and I began doing my own research. At the time there was a girl in my class, I'll call her A, who was made fun of and picked on. She was shorter and bigger than everyone else and was very sensitive so she cried easily. Kids in my class began calling her a dyke, and I did the same because I didn't want anyone finding out about me. They say the biggest homophobes are the biggest homos...I proved them right.
In high school I told my best friend, H, that I was bisexual, not yet ready to fully come out. Then at SCOEP I told my friend, S. We were playing catch and she froze with the ball for a second and then accepted it and smiled saying "that actually explains a lot". I had to keep hiding it from most people though and I hated that. I decided to just come out but before I had a chance a guy in my class saw me and my girlfriend H (now ex) kissing and began telling everyone about me "the carpet munching dyke". My friends don't know just how bad it got, the threats, how scared I was when I got off school property and had to walk home, or about how they would trip me on the bus and shove me around. I had bruises and got beat up more than once. During summer break I begged my parents to let me switch schools. I told them someone had spread a horrible rumor and I couldn't stand it anymore so they let me transfer to a public school.
It was August 2007 and I went to the school to hand in the papers I needed to transfer and the $30 fee. There was another girl there, a red head and an angry one at that. She was on student welfare and didn't have the fee but it was the last day. She finally snapped at the secretary demanding to see the principal. As the secretary went to the other office the red head gave me a once over and then smirked a little. I wanted to ask her name, ask her out, invite her over but I was still with H, who was a very jealous girlfriend.
On the first day of school I found out I had math with the red head, J, and we started hanging out. My girlfriend and I began having problems as I started falling for J but J had told me she was straight, or so she thought. Turns out her parents were strict Protestants (mine were strict Catholics) and they had scared J so she suppressed her urges, she was bisexual.
In April of 2008 my parents found out I was a lesbian. The day before (a Saturday) my mom had seen my hugging my girlfriend and apparently put all her "evidence" together. She shoved me in the shower telling me to "scrub the sin" off of my skin. She kicked H out and kept yelling at me. That day was also my friends baby shower and when I got there everyone already knew what had happened. They tried to make me feel better but I was depressed and wanted nothing to do with their hugs and "it's ok". I had gone to see my friend and give her, her gift and be there for her. I didn't want anyone trying to make me feel better. After that my father barely spoke to me and my mom got mad at me over everything. I could no longer go see my girlfriend which caused problems between us.
In July of 2008 I broke up with my girlfriend and J and I began experimenting. Then I found out my ex had cheated on me with her ex and some other guy. Her excuse was that she was lonely because we lived in different cities and my parents didn't want me to see her anymore. She ended up getting pregnant. I stupidly got back together with her, after I had fallen in love with J, after knowing that she had cheated on me. My trust in her was gone so in early September I broke up with her again. She hated me for it but I wasn't going to be with someone I wasn't in love with. I met J in August 2007, it was love at first sight but I still dated H until September 2008 trying to get over J. After breaking up with H, J and I went back to experimenting and on October 2, 2008 we began dating. Turns out she had fallen in love with me around the same time I had fallen in love with her but she thought I was still in love with my ex. We were engaged by mid November.
My wife and I have been through a lot together. When she came out her family said some very horrible things and her mother tried to commit suicide. My wife and I moved out before the end of senior year and with both of our families against our relationship we were on our own. We got married on April 24, 2010 but my family didn't begin to accept my wife until late 2010, early 2011 and her family hasn't begun to accept me. There are a couple in-laws, wife's brother, sister, cousin and aunt who i get along with but most of the rest hate me for being a lesbian, "turning J into a lesbian", being Chilean, being from a Catholic family and for me not believing in God.
My wife and I have now been together for 3 years, 3 months, 3 weeks and 3 days. We have been married for a year and 9 months. We have 3 angel babies and people that love and support us despite what other people say and do.
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